I have always felt most at home in communities of nonbelievers. In my very first-ever blog post in 2016, I said this for the first time.
The only problem is that I only know one atheist other than myself. I have almost no outlet for my discoveries or my questions. I hope that this blog acts as a way for me to go from being a rogue atheist to a member of a community of individuals who are either in a situation similar to my own or who were brave enough to be able to come out. I intend to share my experiences and discoveries with you as I make my way through works of atheistic literature, learn more about natural science, and form my own opinions and lifestyle choices based on my beliefs.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve struggled with people judging me at a glance. People who are older than I am tend to take a single look at my face and assume that I’m too young: too young to know what I’m doing, to be competent, to remember this or that singer or event. It’s become a lot more noticeable since I graduated college, and it’s an issue that so many people my age face but that none of us were prepared for.
I created my blog using WordPress.com on November 27th, 2016. I wanted a simple way to anonymously air my grievances to the world from my dorm, and my only requirement at the time for a blogging platform was that it allowed for a .blog domain extension (so that I could be sheseeksnonfiction.blog, of course). I saw an ad that WordPress had just made .blog available, so I immediately jumped on it! That was all the convincing I needed to fly with WordPress and not a competitor. What a simple time.
I love learning. The time in my life that I have done the most learning has been since graduating from college three years ago. I don’t mean learning life lessons, but reading, writing, and researching my favorite topics just to learn them. When I was in high school and college, I didn’t love learning the way I do now, but school was my time with the most readily available resources, and I’m wistful that it’s passed me by.
For most of the time I’ve spent as an atheist, I’ve also identified as a secular humanist. However, the label of “humanist” has spent most of that time in the backseat. Even though I was a humanist, I preferred to use descriptors like “skeptic” or “curious atheist”. While I am still all of these, I’m beginning to really embrace my identity as a humanist for the first time.
I started working at my first-ever office job in March of 2019. During a typical week, I would go into the office for three days and work from home for two. I enjoyed working in an office, mostly because it was the definition of success and of being a true adult after college. My coworkers were all very close friends with one another, and I enjoyed the lightheartedness in the air that came with the camaraderie. Unfortunately, I don’t think I ever truly made my way into that circle of friends (I’m talking best-friends-outside-of-work level friends) for many reasons. I believe that the overarching reason is because they all shared common interests that I could not have cared less about.
I would say that 2020 has been a roller coaster for me, but honestly, the entire life of this blog feels like a roller coaster. This is because what I write about (which is all this blog is) changes and evolves as I change and grow up. I began The Closet Atheist Blog in November of 2016 with slight apprehension that I might one day run out of things to talk about in my specific niche of atheism, and I wondered what I would do then. Should I just end the blog? No, I would first change it—the content, maybe even the name?—instead of leaving it behind altogether.
When I started blogging four years ago, I felt like it was popular among atheist content creators to write posts or make videos about why they celebrate Christmas even though they don’t believe in Jesus. It felt almost obligatory to explain that one enjoyed all the fun of the holidays without acknowledging “the reason for the season”.
Last week, I decided to share my process of consolidating my “Curious Atheist” identity with my “real-life” identity, and it felt a bit heavy. On the other hand, beginning next week I have a lot of exciting posts on the way, including a new series on paleoanthropology and creationism! To give my upcoming posts the time they deserve, I thought that today I’d be a little more laid back and share with you some of the artwork that I’ve made over the years. Of course, creating this post took a lot longer than I had planned (what was I thinking?), but regardless, here are photos of—and stories behind—my art pieces!